Hey Y'all! Let's get straight to the meat and potatoes. Processing is not always fun and enjoyable. Outcomes vary, feelings and emotions may go haywire, and it may not look like what you anticipated or planned. The common denominator to a successful process is you have to keep going. You will never know your outcome at all if you quit. I promise I didn't start this blog to be a "Tell All" segment of my little life but transparency is my greatest angle when it comes to writing.
One of the hardest things to process is the death of my Father. After all these years I still can not shake the hurt, void, and pain. Even in my darkest days I still have to keep going. If I didn't I would be in somebody's padded room taking meds 24/7. Sounds extreme but it's real. I have been managing grief very well until COVID-19 hit. To say I have been triggered is an understatement. Everyday so many are dying. I'm just not okay. With that being said I haven't been motivated to do anything. With so many limitations and new normal I felt like why even bother. BOY, WAS I WRONG.
I found myself stagnant until I received a text to participate on a platform to talk about grief and how I learned to live again after my Dads passing. I promise after that brief conversation my stagnation ended immediately and purpose pumped through my body again. The last time I felt that was six months ago. I was working from home 100% of the time. I was so motivated to explore many things I love. To name a few fashion, Instagram influence/brand ambassador, grief support, etc. During this time I got a professional camera and all the bells and whistles that come with it. I just knew I was going to be branding more often. It was a lot of work but a piece of cake when I had the flexibility and time to put into it.
Chile, I haven't touched that camera since August/September 2020. Probably before that because although closed to the public I was in the office 3-4 days a week. My husband also returned to work...there goes my photographer lol. I enjoyed that time. Fully motivated, full of purpose, blog newly launched and thriving. I can no longer do it how I started but I am writing to say that I will not quit. I am so much more than a grieving Daddy's girl and I want the world to know that however I've neglected my true purpose to maintain a space for other grieving daddy's girls to relate, get support and strength. This is why I have been feeling so stuck. I don't post about grief to get attention its my life and I wish I had a me or social media presence I can relate to. That text message to pursue purpose was just what I needed to KEEP GOING.
I have taken the time to just be...God and Me. He has showed me so much about me all I can do is smile. Back to the drawing board and happy about it. You can do the same. KEEP GOING!
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